Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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