your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
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