apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
