She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Randomize
