Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
