may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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