remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize