My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
