i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
