drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
There r osticjed everywhere
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Randomize
