Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Randomize
