hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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