how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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