I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
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