I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Randomize
