Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
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