I'm gonna have a badass scar
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
