I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
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