When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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