It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
Do vagina's smell?
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
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It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
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I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize