dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
