I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
