And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
