I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
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