I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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