Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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