Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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