:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
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