I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
Randomize