dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
Randomize
