Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I am mentally ready for anal.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
