I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Randomize
