I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
