history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
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