i may or may not be watching the land before time
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
