She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Redeem this text for a blowjob
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I got inside last night via doggy door
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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