there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
