Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Help. Why am I so naked?
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
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