end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
