Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Randomize
