I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
