Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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