What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Randomize
