i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
