sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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