if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Randomize
