Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(774): View more from Massachusetts

i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.

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(732): View more from New Jersey

so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night

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(360): View more from Washington

tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse

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(808): View more from Hawaii

Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.

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(315): View more from New York

i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.

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(618): View more from Illinois

thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame

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(678): View more from Georgia

I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.

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(734): View more from Michigan

This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.

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(334): View more from Alabama

Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.

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