It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Randomize
