I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
My ATM looks so different sober.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
