would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Randomize
