I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
