New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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