She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
