soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Randomize
