your room smells of hookers.
And success
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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