The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
