u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize