I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Randomize
