Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
