i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I love having hate sex.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
I touched a dick in church today
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
