ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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