Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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