They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Randomize
