You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I didn't notice because vodka
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
