if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
