Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
