I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
