she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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