Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
