just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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